notesbynora

Barbra Streisand sang it best, “…if we had the chance to do it all again, tell me would we? Could we?” From the sound track of the movie “The Way We Were” who hasn’t imagined the possibility of doing it all over again, to step back into those photographs hanging on the walls of our homes, to hear the voice of a loved one no longer on earth, to relive, to change…oh the possibilities, if only.

Today is one of those days for me. We all have them. Days when we long to return to what could’ve been, should’ve been, would’ve been… if only.

My grandmother used to say, “If a frog had wings he wouldn’t hit his butt when he jumped.” The image of such brought laughter to me as a child. My brother Lindsey often replied, “but Mama Dolly he doesn’t.”

“Exactly…” she answered. Responding to our confused expressions, Mama Dolly would lean close to our ears and whisper, “If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t be a frog.”

Hart recently turned 15 and once again I have a live-in chauffeur. For me it is such a treat not to have to drive. As a mother of six, I have been a taxi cab service for quite awhile with no fare. When she first started, I would often remind her about the side mirrors and rear view mirror, “Glance in your mirrors off and on so that you know what’s behind you but keep your eyes on the road ahead.”

The more memories we have behind us, the more likely to look back and wonder if only we’d made this decision…if only we’d taken this turn, said these words, joined this group…if only we’d been in this place and not that place…but then we wouldn’t be who we are. Every experience, good or bad, imprints our souls to create the people we are today. And today’s experiences will impact the people we are becoming.

Psalm 16: 11, “You have made known to me the path of life…” 

My son Ben works as a raft guide during college breaks to earn some extra money. Truth be known, if he didn’t get paid, he would still do it because of his love of nature and adventure. To those in his raft, the currents and rocks are unknown and can be frightening but Ben knows how to navigate the river in such a way as to give his customers the best ride. I often imagine God as the guide of my life in the same way. Sometimes the rapids are rough but He knows the river and while I might think I’m going to flip over (and sometimes I do), He will always rescue me. The more difficult a current He gets me through, the easier it is to rely on Him the next level of rapid.

Memories are our rear view mirrors, they serve to give us glances of the past, reminders of where we’ve been; however, to move forward, we have to keep our eyes on the road ahead. And if we had the chance to do it all over again? We wouldn’t be frogs. We wouldn’t be who we are.

Charles Kettering, inventor of the incubator for premature infants, freon for air-conditioners, and head researcher for GM, wrote, “My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.”

“I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

     Oh the storms of life…if you have not experienced them, you will. They are inevitable to every inhabitant on this planet physically, emotionally, and financially. Storms are not selective – no matter your skin color, wallet size, place of dwelling, educational goals – storms hit unannounced in various strengths whenever they want with a fury that sometimes knocks us off our feet.

        Jesus’ disciples experienced such a storm in Mark 4:35 – 38, “That day when evening came, He said to His disciples, ‘Let us go over to the other side.’ Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.”

        My son Ben (20) is one of those men who can fix anything, find anything, and has a knack for getting himself out of whatever comes his way. Ben knows how to survive in nature. How to find fresh water, build structures, administer first aide – you name it – he can do it. While in Costa Rica, we had the opportunity to explore the Rain Forests. I made sure that I stayed close on his heels because I knew if we got lost, I could make it as long as I was with him.  

        “The disciples woke Him and said, ‘Teacher don’t you care if we drown?”

        Often when we are in the middle of a storm we wonder if God even knows we are in it. There are times He seems so silent it appears as though He is sleeping. “Are you even there? Do you know what I’m going through? Why are you doing this to me?” we ask.

        “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.”

        Is Jesus in your boat? One of the toughest questions to answer sometimes comes when hurricanes hit our lives and all that we know and love is challenged by this simple question. We may know He is in the boat but it feels like He is snoozing away while the tumultuous waters rise higher and higher, the boat seems to be filled with water, and our last breath is just minutes away. We want to feel like we are walking on the heels of Ben in the Rain Forests of Costa Rica but often times doubt and insecurity make us believe we ‘go it alone.’

        “He said to His disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

        When your storms hit remember praise, prayer, and perseverance. You don’t have to wake Jesus up. He will get you to the other side.

        Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

        Let God be God…your God…ride out the boat…for ‘wherever you go’ He is with you.

In the top right corner of my Bible, at some point I wrote in blue ink, “Judgment can be seen as a type of grace.” It is a comment proposed by the verse in Hebrews 12:12 &13, “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

I remember a sermon Pastor Jim Rush of Pine Forest Methodist Church preached on this very verse. Pine Forest was my first church home, where I was christened, confirmed, accepted Christ, and married. Even though I was in my early teen years when I heard his message, some 30+  years ago, I still remember it.

One of my favorite childhood friends, Tracy Lou Lamb, and I shared a love for scary movies.  Nestled in the center aisle of the Martin Theatre in Dublin, Georgia; popcorn placed strategically between us; two iced cold Tabs; we suffered through the heart raising, nail biting, silent torture of horror. To Tracy the big screen before us suggested humor. There were times she’d throw her arm up exclaiming, “Really? Like she can’t figure out he’s standing behind the door…oh! How stupid!”

For me, the images before me were as real as breakfast cereal in the morning and the masked man driving the white station wagon could easily be the guy sitting next to me in Miss Holt’s Social Studies Class. For days I walked in a sort of stupor wondering if the next doorway would bring my demise, 27 dagger wounds to my chest, but the thrill of the scare kept me coming back. Tracy Lou teased me unmercifully, “How can you be scared? It was so obvious!”

“Therefore strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees…”

Provision for our known weakness…Pastor Rush probably wasn’t talking about horror films the day he preached his Hebrews 12:12-13 sermon, but it was how I saw sin and the fallible influences of  my life – always lurking behind bushes, hiding in corridors, sneaking up unsuspectingly – that put me in harms way.  Masked in a way that we cannot see its true self, the dangers we knowingly or unknowingly invite into our lives, cripple us.

Realizing where frailities are, the chinks in our armors, allows us to muscle up, see them coming, face them boldly, or run as fast as we can away from them.

“Make level paths for your feet…”

My brother and his wife experienced a house fire early in their marriage. Awaken to smoke so thick they could not see their own hands, they crawled out of the bedroom and safely out of their home. He once told me that before he goes to bed he makes sure the floor is clear because of his experience.

There are times in life when we ourselves choose obstacles, we repeatedly walk where we know we shouldn’t,  entertaining the notion, “it is innocent fun.”

While in New York I took a group of girls to the M&M Store. Those who know me, know my weakness is M&Ms. I laughed as I stood wall-to-wall with the daggers of my life. Talk about a sinful dwelling! I envisioned putting my mouth under an M&M spout of plain colorful candies and leaving the girls to wander around New York without me. Thankfully, the image was only momentary and I got through the store without a single purchase.

“…so that the lame may not be disabled but rather healed.”

If we want to stay safe, there are certain places we cannot go. Whether it is inappropriately texting a co-worker; visiting sites on the internet; eating unhealthy foods; hanging out with people we know are wrong for us; drinking too much alcohol; smoking; gossiping; judging others; stretching the truth – whatever the flaw, we know what ours are. How we view them significantly impacts us as well. Whether we see it as Tracy Lou did ‘all in fun’ or as I did ‘the thrill of the scare,’ it is still sin and will destroy us.

Pastor Rush closed his sermon with the simple remarks that I still quote today, “What used to make us stumble, God can use to make us stand. What once made us shameful, God can use to make Him shine.”

I like to consider myself “the plant rescuer.” Odd title, I know. It wasn’t exactly self-determined but motivated by finances. To put it simply, at some point in my life, I needed some plants, didn’t have the money, saw where the staff at Lowes had pulled plants to discard because they were ‘sickly’ and I jumped, “Are you throwing those plants out? Can I have them?”

 Boom – the plant whisperer was born.

My grandmother loved trees. They were life lessons for her. Because they are the longest living things on earth, trees probably have withstood and endured more than anything else on the planet. The sturdiest trees are not the pampered ones but the ones who have been through droughts and storms. In a season of little rain, trees grow the deepest roots because they have to reach further into the ground for water sources; and those with the deepest roots have the strongest foundations to stand firm in the harshest storms.

Matthew 15:13, “He replied, ‘Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.”

Recently, I spoke to a group of women about perseverance.  As survivors of  rape, daily existence can be remarkably difficult. One of them commented, “Could a God who loves His children put them through such ‘hell?’”

It is a question only God can answer and one I can only speculate as to an answer. It ranks up there with, “Who causes bad things to happen?”

My immediate thought was of Paul who suffered beatings, stoning, imprisonment, and countless episodes of torture; yet, he knew God’s plan was bigger than him and was made stronger. I would probably classify Paul as the most powerful voice of Christianity other than Christ Himself.

Could it be that the storms of life are God’s mercy in disguise? There is a song on Christian radio, written by a female vocalist Laura Story called, “Blessings.” It has become an anthem of sorts to me because it speaks to the heart of life. The pampered tree does not have the deepest roots and as it matures, it is easily toppled by the first sign of distress.  It is the tree that has endured pests, turbulence, heat, little water, storms, lightning, and fire that stands in magnificent glory for 100s of years.

When I walk through my yard, I realize my most sturdy and beautiful plants are those I found on ‘death row.’ The ones not worthy to sell. The ones others did not want… because they fought back, not just to survive, but to thrive.

The question caught me off guard. It came in a cafe off Broadway Street over a shared bowl of Thai Noodles. Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville” echoed in the background as I breathed in. Why do I love God?

I’ve developed a friendship with someone who practices Hinduism. We’ve been very careful to avoid conversations about our beliefs and only shared our love of people and helping others. With her permission I am writing this blog.

The psalmist David loved God. He loved just being in the presence of God and when he didn’t feel God, it bothered him to the point of grief. King David made many mistakes but despite his downfall, he held on to a remarkable faith and God honored him. Psalm 27:6, “And now shall my head be lifted up above my enemies round about me; in His tent I will offer sacrifices and shouting of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.”

Shadrack, Meshak, and Abenigo stood before the fiery furnace and proclaimed in Daniel 3:16-18, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. ¹⁷ If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us^[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. ¹⁸ But even if He does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” 

But even if He does not…my friend’s point was of the Christians she knows, there seems to be a love based, not on who God is, but what He can do for them. The phrase, “I am blessed,” annoys her. What if you weren’t blessed? Would you still love God? Aahhhhh…

I shared with her scriptures that have comforted me through many dark days:

1 Peter 5:10, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

Romans 12:12, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

and my favorite, James 1:12, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him.”

I love God for who He is. No other god has ever suffered and died for his children. Therefore, I have no belief in any other god but mine. His heart was so filled with love for me that He endured torture beyond comprehension. There is no other love like that in the universe and beyond. The blessings that come from loving my God; the protection that comes from loving my God; the assurance of an eternal life paid on the cross from loving my God are icing on the cake for even if those things were not given to me, I would love my God for who He is.

“But the people I know who claim to serve your God, curse Him when things do not go their way, when He does not give them what they want,” she questioned me.

I smiled just thinking about her words for they are true. It is the best example of unconditional love available. For no matter what we do or what we say, the God of gods, King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator of the universe, loves us anyway.

I love Him even more because of it.

You know it and I know it. The wheel that squeaks the loudest always gets greased first. The complainer, the whiner, the pusher, the puller…whatever it takes to be heard, human beings have bought the “squeaky wheel” phenomena. And most of the time the squeaker gets his way, but not with God.

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding.” Proverbs 14:29

One of the fruits of the spirit, which God clearly indicates are present in true Christianity, is self-control. Many of us want to slip that one under the carpet and choose not to include it in our “fruit salad;” however, God is pretty clear on His instructions about anger. I’ve heard it justified that even Jesus got angry…once…in the house of His Father…over men gambling and selling…so…I can yell and scream at the cashier at Walmart because I had to wait in line. Hmmmmm…

“Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God wishes and requires.” James 1:19-20

Several years ago I was given the opportunity to speak with a gentleman who was born in Poland but spent years in a Nazi concentration camp. At the age of 12, he was sent to study piano in Moscow, Russia. In route, he was imprisoned with several scientists from Russia. A child prodigy of sorts, he was robbed of his opportunity to be a concert pianist by the Germans. He later studied medicine after the war and never returned to Poland because his entire family was killed during the invasion. When I spoke with him, his demeanor appeared slow and languishing and yet his wit was quick and intelligent.  As he talked of his ordeal,the realness of it all felt as if it had just happened; although he was a much older man now. “You are stronger than you know,” he said to me, pointing a finger ridden with arthritis. “Every day other men, scientists by profession, encouraged me with that one phrase. ‘You are stronger than you know.’ Do not allow life and people to make you angry for when you do, you are accepting the way they are treating you.” 

Responding to our struggles and obstacles instead of reacting to them allows us to feel God’s power in our soul. 

Proverbs 16:32, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”  

Often when I myself feel frustrated, I remind myself, “There is a solution for everything. We just need to find it.”

Be a listener. Put thought in what you are going to say. And through your actions, promote righteousness as God wishes and requires.

^{Isaiah 55:12, “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”}

          ^{My grandmother, Mama Dolly, loved tracing paper, the thin paper that is transparent. She liked it because she thought her hand writing was poor. She would trace quotes and things that she enjoyed in printed form and tuck them away in books and drawers. This particular verse I found today. She had traced it and placed in one of my favorite books as a teenager. The imagery that comes to mind when I read it is of Julie Andrews in the opening Act of the movie The Sound of Music – standing in Austria, above the city of Vienna, twirling with arms outstretched as she sings, “The hills are alive with the sound of music…” But I believe I am missing the point.}

          ^{Mama Dolly used to tell me living within us is a well of joy because of God’s presence in our lives. No matter our circumstances, we can draw from that well and feel secure knowing He is there. Our world flows at such a rapid speed; our minds click with all that must be done, could happen, or should’ve happened. We spend our days longing for something in the past, wishing for more in the future, and beating ourselves up over the “now” that we do not allow the mountains and the hills to break forth in song. We do not hear the trees clapping. But God tells us that they do.}

          ^{The peace that surpasses all understanding can only be found in a God who designed us for a specific purpose and loves us to a depth we cannot fathom. It lives and is ours for the taking but we have to know that it is there.}

          ^{Outside my apartment window there is a giant Poplar Tree in a small park frequented by many on their lunch break. I often see people eating on the benches or dog walkers taking a break. I love to sit and listen to the sounds of people, cars, and general business and feel that the ironed fence surrounding this euphoric dwelling brings serenity. Today I watched the Poplar Tree as its branches moved to and fro with the wind and passing breeze from large trucks as if clapping joyfully for God’s people.}

          ^{No matter what is going on in our lives: heartache, pain, financial struggle, betrayal, our God reaches down and brings a song of encouragement, a lighter step, and an instrument of hope. We just need to hear it.}  

          I first saw her near the Gershwin Theatre between Broadway and 52^nd Street sitting, knees tucked against her chest with her dog beside her. She wore a bandana wrapped around her head and her dog’s wrapped around his neck – matching. What impressed me the most is the dog’s conduct. A large mixed breed, regally perched upright next to her, he was neither hyper or unattentive but assuredly beside her. A note, written on cardboard, rested between them, “Homeless, no job, need help.”

            My daughter Collier is about her age. How easy the two could’ve been sorority sisters had circumstances been different. Many thoughts traveled through my mind and heart. I actually passed her by but then turned back. Who truly knows if she really needs help or finds it easy to make a buck or two this way?

            Just the other day, I passed a group of women with the Humane Society. They were adopting out pets that had come from Georgia! It excited me to talk to them and the links that are taken to find homes for these sweet animals. A pair of Dachshund, a Lhasa Apso, 4 Chihuahuas,and a Bernese Mountain Dog, I had to contribute, especially since they were from my home state! The outlook was good the women told me. They had had over 50 applications that day. Each would be reviewed and hopefully suitable homes would be found. How did so many sweet pets become homeless?

            1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

            I pulled cash from my backpack and returned to the girl and her dog. Saying nothing, I extended my hand toward her. She didn’t take the cash immediately. Her dog looked up at me. She did not. One eye was glazed and white the other seemed to roll freely around in her head, “Oh!” she reached up her hand, “Thank you.”

            I wanted to question her. Wanted to know how she and her dog ended up homeless. I thought of asking why didn’t she live in a mission home or where was her family but in reality, she knows more about homelessness than I do for she is and I’m not.

            Her dog nestled beside her as if to take a break from his watchman’s pose. There was a brown sack of food beside her that maybe someone had left for her. As I turned to walk away she asked me, “How can I pray for you?” I don’t recall anyone ever asking me such a question. Many have said, “I will pray for you…but never how?”

            Soli Deo Gloria – it is one of the few phrases I remember from my Latin class, although I had an amazing teacher at Dublin High School.  Literally translated, “glory to God alone” meaning  it’s all about God.  I often have to remind myself of this truth, usually on a daily basis. The reality of life is,  whether we like it or not, our lives are not about us. Easy to say but to live by it,  is a different story. Life is really about the ways we can live for God.

            My Dad has an amazing voice. One of my favorite songs that he sings “My Tribute” contain the words, “Just let me live my life, let it pleasing Lord to Thee, and if I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary. To God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory, for the things He has done.”

            “How can I pray for you?” Her words impacted my soul more than any sermon or devotion I’ve read in quite some time. I’m not sitting on a sidewalk in New York with my dog and a cardboard sign; yet, she wanted to pray for me. I actually wanted to sit down beside her and her dog and talk but time would not permit it.

            “The voices of a million angels, could not express my gratitude. All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to thee.”

             In all that we do, in all that we say, allow us to represent you, Lord, and pass the glory to You.

         It is strange to fathom. I can’t even comprehend the words, but I’ve been told I have a FULL DAY OFF. My memory does play tricks on me, but I don’t remember the last time someone told me I had a day off. What does one do with a full day off?

          My daughter Dory started a list immediately. She had 45 minutes before she needed to be transported to the studio. You can exercise, go to that coffee shop, get a pedicure, have lunch with your friend, then you can…but I stopped her.

          Most of our lives are spent doing exactly what we want to do. We like to protest to such statements but realistically we work because we want money. We clean and decorate because we want a nice home. We mingle with friends because we enjoy them or we want a higher social standard or we need reinforcement. We cart our children from here to there because we want to keep them busy, give them opportunities, keep them out of trouble, or help them make friends. But when do we do exactly what God has in store for us to do?

          I decided to go to my garden musician. Meditation is good for the soul and his music warrants such. Surprisingly, he wasn’t there – maybe he had the day off too. It was then that I noticed a missions home. Earlier in the week, I tripped on the sidewalk trying to walk like a New Yorker and a person who runs a missions home close by stopped to help me. So I went in.

          He recognized me immediately.

          “I have the day off if you need some help,” I offered.

          A homeless shelter/half-way house for people who live on the streets, it reminded me of a place I’d been in Guatemala. Children were scattered about. Several women sat against the wall on a long wooden bench.

          One of his volunteers had called in sick. “Perfect time to stop by,” he said with a wink, “We are taking the kids to the museum today. Will you join us?”

          So much for my day off … and yet I bet it will be divinely orchestrated and therefore perfect.

John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing.”

On my walk to the Joffrey Ballet Studio every morning at 9:15, I pass a garden, enclosed by a 7 to 8 foot black iron fence. It is triangular in shape and filled with exotic plants that make seeing inside all but impossible. The area has become a mysterious dwelling for me, and my curiosity runs rampant wondering who owns it. There is a tree, Japanese maple, which grows in the center of the garden and under the tree sits a man in a stadium chair, playing music. He doesn’t sing. He doesn’t collect money; for even if we wanted to throw money, it would be lost in the thick jungle-type vines that grow on the fencing. No, he plays for a different reason.

It is sad, whimsical at times; sometimes, it is rejuvenating and spirit filling. The acoustic guitar resonates above the sound of the moving cars and the bustling of people. It flows through the crowds, enveloping us, inviting us to stop and hear.

I stood and glared through a peep hole in the vines, wondering who could be playing such beautiful music and why? His hair is brown with a slight curl, his skin light but darkening from the sun. He wears shorts and flip-flops and a safari type hat… but the music is mesmerizing.

I sat on the pavement with my back to the fence, not wanting to leave but tired from standing. When 10:00am rolled around, he stopped in mid-song, disappearing into the building which serves as a blockade to anyone wanting to enter the sacred dwelling.

Not far from where I was sitting, a lady began gathering her belongings, “Who is he?” I asked.

She paused only for a moment before walking over to where I was. “I have no idea. I’ve been coming here every day to listen to him for the past two weeks. He plays every day. Even in the rain.”

“Even in the rain?”  

Maybe he plays to God or a long lost lover. Maybe he is in therapy to overcome anger issues. Maybe he is a famous musician hiding from the public. Maybe it is none of my business the reasoning behind what he does; maybe I’m just supposed to enjoy it.

As I started my walk home, I decided not to take the subway. I wanted to think about God and people. Why we do the things we do… I’m a believer that God took time to create every life-form on this planet. Each pedal is counted and placed strategically for our enjoyment and every color of rose chosen to glorify Him. The Bible tells us that He calls the names of the stars in the sky and knows the number of hairs on our heads. The spider’s legs are shaped perfectly so that it can climb and weave its web. The songs of the birds vary because the combined singing must bring harmony to His ears. This world, intelligently designed, is a beautiful place made for us to enjoy by the hand of God.

The familiar quote entered my mind, “Stop and smell the roses.” When I think how many sunsets I’ve missed, new leaves budding on the trees, mountains gleaming in the distance, or light shimmering across a lake.  The butterflies I’ve overlooked or the smiles from people I ignored. I wonder if we all should just stop what we are doing and lavish the beauty of nature.

My grandmother, Mama Dolly, used to say, “Stop and smell the roses and while you are at it, pull a few weeds!”

I think she had the best idea.